When I got home that night… my wife was serving dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. i suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’ s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction it would have on our son, in case we pushed through with the divorce.

At least, in the eyes of our son—-I’m a loving husband…. THE SMALL DETAILS OF YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. “IT’S NOT” the Mansion or House, the Car, Property, the Money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Most of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up… YOU DON’T REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL ITS GONE!

Special shout outs to R.E.A.L Ministries for allowing the event to be held there. Thanks to Trinity for co-hosting. Much love to Immortal, Educator, Ameera York, Mama’s Boy and H2G for showing up and ministering. I love and appreciate yall.

If you don’t have the album, go and get it.

Below are a few videos from the album release…enjoy.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site.  This site is a collection of ideas, thoughts, music, events and videos from me.  Feel free to view and comment.

1. People who over use the tambourine.  If you know you have a problem keeping up with the beat, please do the church a favor, and pass the tambourine to someone else!     You are truly aggravating so KNOCK IT OFF!   Be still and just  sing.
2. People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt His ”touch”  and was moved to run around the church, doesn’t mean you need to.  If you require several rounds of oxygen and some gator-aide after your ‘performance’ chances are you didn’t get touched after all.  SIT DOWN.
3. People who constantly holler something to the pastor all during  the  message.    We don’t need you commenting after every sentence pastor says, everybody knows you know the bible.  Stop showing off!  The preacher is ‘preaching’  directly to you anyway, but maybe if you be quiet, the whole church wouldn’t know he’s talking toyou.  SHUT UP so  everybody else can hear what the pastor has to say to you.
4. People who constantly go to the bathroom.  Nobody uses  the bathroom four times during service and if you  actually need to, I suggest wearing Depends, or sitting at the end of the aisle.  People are tired of you knocking off their hats and wigs as you go by.
5. People who can’t or won’t control their kids.  Okay, this is a tough one….If you know Lil’ Ron Ron ’bout to tear up children’s church, don’t subject that poor innocent teacher to your demon-child.  Sit Lil’ Ron Ron next to you, open your purse and show him your ‘gun’….then whisper in his ear and tell him he’s going to see God before his time if he doesn’t keep some ‘act right’.  Then pray and ask God’s forgiveness.  How in the world can we concentrate on hearing the Word, when your child is running up and down the aisle .  The Bible says, ”spare the rod, spoil the child,”  You need to HANDLE UP!!
6.  People who take ’Come AS YOU ARE’ to a whole new level. I can understand if you going through something. But if you got a fresh pair of Jordan ‘s on and a T-shirt, then you can certainly invest in some dress clothes and take your earrings and nose rings out. Since when is it OK for men to wear hats in the church and wear their pants to their ankles?  GET IT TOGETHER!
7. People who bring food to church. If you brought your baby a little snack, but you’reeating all his cookies and crackers ..  dropping crumbs everywhere that’s a problem. Take those Cheezits, Oreos and little Rae-kwon outside. This is GOD’S HOUSE, NOT YOURS!!!
8.  People who come to special church functions and criticize. If you’re standing in a corner gossiping about how you could’ve done a better job at something and you haven’t volunteered to help with anything and haven’t showed up to any invitations to join a ministry, I’m going to have to ask you to SHUT-UP!
9. People who obviously show they don’t like you. If you don’t care for a person for whatever reason, at least put up a decent front and ACT like you have some Christian love!  When you come to church, you should look past people’s shortcomings. Don’t cut somebody up with your evil faces and smart remarks.   Those same faults you see in others, may be found in you!  CUT IT OUT!
10. Finally, parents who dress better than their kids… If you come in looking like an Ebony Fashion model and little Sha-nay-nay is behind you looking like a poster child for ‘Feed the Children,’ you are DEAD WRONG!  Give your child a “Just For Me”, and dress her to look as good or better than you.  Don’t come out looking like a MILLION BUCKS while your child looks ‘homeless’.

Letter from a college student

The other day , a friend of mine visited me in the lobby of my dorm just to chat while her laundry was drying. As we were chatting , two young freshmen came by. One of the 2 boys wanted to ‘talk’ to my friend (as in date). She asked him how old they were , and both of the boys replied 18. My friend and I both laughed hysterically because we are both 22 years old. <

After my friend left , the young men were still hanging around and one wanted to know how he could gain her interest.

The first thing I told him to do was to pull up his pants! He asked why , and then said he liked saggin ‘ his pants. I told him to come over to my computer and spell the word saggin’. Then I told him to write the word saggin ‘ backwards.

S-A-G-G-I-N
N-I-G- G-A-S

I told him the origin of that look was from centuries ago. It was the intent of slave owners to demoralize the field workers by forbidding them to wear a belt as they worked in the fields or at any other rigorous job. In addition , men in prison wore their pants low when they were ‘spoken for’. The other reason their pants looked like that was they were not allowed to have belts because prisoners were likely to try to commit suicide. And , saggin’ pants prevents you from running.

We as young Black people have to be the ones to effect change. We are dying. The media has made a mockery of the Black American. Even our brothers and sisters from Africa don’t take us seriously. Something as simple as pulling up your pants and standing with your head held high could make the biggest difference in the world’s perception of us. It is time to do right by ourselves. We need to love and embrace each other. No one is going to do that for us.

It all comes down to perception. What people perceive is what reality to them is. We have to change not only the media’s perception of us , but we need to change our perception of ourselves.

Remember all eyes are on you Black Man. All eyes are on you Black Woman. All eyes are on your Black Child. People point the finger at us and expect us to engage in negative and illegal activities , to manifest loud , boisterous behavior , to spend our hard earned money in their stores , buying goods we don’t need , or really want. We have allowed not only the media , but the government and the world to portray us as a ‘sub-culture. ‘ They have stripped our culture down to the point where the image of Black people is perpetuated as rappers , athletes , drug users , and consumers of junk food , expensive tennis shoes , expensive cars , expensive TVs , cell phones and not investing in homes for our families.

We are so much more!!!!!!!

To all our Black Men : It’s time to stand up. There are billions of Black Women who want to do nothing more than worship the ground that you walk on. We are so in love with your potential. We want to have your back , we want to love , support and cherish every ounce of your being. But with that you have to show that you are willing to be the head of our households. You have to prove yourselves worthy of our submission. We need you to be hard working…Not a hustler. We need you to seek higher education , to seek spirituality. We need you to stand! And trust us; we will have your back. We know that it gets hard. We know you get weary. Trust and believe that there is nothing that a Black Man and a Black Woman can’t handle with GOD on their side.

To all our Black Women : It is also time for you to stand up. It is time for you to stop using our bodies as our primary form of communication. It is time to be that virtuous woman that Proverbs spoke of. You cannot sit by the wayside while our men are dying by the masses. You are the epitome of Black Love. It starts within you. You need to speak with conviction to let not only our Black Men know , but the world , that you are the Mothers of this world. You are so powerful. You are so beautiful. You need to love and embrace every blessing God has given us physically , emotionally and spiritually.

For all our Black Children : We need to love them. We need to teach them. We need to stand up for them. We need to protect them. We need to show them that there are no ‘get rich quick’ schemes. We need to tell them that they WILL die trying if they submit to a life of crime and deceit. We need to teach our children that no one will love them the way we can. And being a basketball player , a rapper , or a drug dealer is not reality. It’s not realistic and only a small percentage of people ever make it as a rapper or professional athlete. We need to teach our children that we can be more than rappers and athletes. We can be the owners of these sports teams. We can be the CEO’s of OUR fortune 500 companies. We need to believe in literacy.

Please Keep This Going & Have a wonderful day

‘This is the year of empowerment.. ‘ God will empower us to accomplish things this year that will be mind blowing’.

GOD BLESS

-Shelia Davis

The crime wave is climbing the murder rate increasing
This generational curse, our kids gonna repeat this
until we find the pieces that are missing to this puzzle
all our live we gonna struggle
and our seeds they gonna suffer
growing up without a father and barely have a mother
another teen gone wild with no direction and discover
that life is like a theme park, you enjoy all the rides
but heartache and pain awaits on the other side

I’ve always made it my business to make sure that each gospel song I release has a message that is supported by the word of God. As an artist, I try my best and pray that the songs I release help someone whether that someone is another artist, someone lost or a backslider. I really appreciate and thank God for other artist who are focused on the ultimate goal (leading others to Christ). This album is definitely one you should add to your collection. We are on the battlefield fighting for Christ and like any war, there are Rules of Engagement

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